How is it that i feel so alone at this very moment?….Im married and feel as if i have no one to truly call my own.
I want love….real love…..nothing that i have to hide or be ashamed of…..have my past relationships scarred me to the point where deep down inside of me i just don’t trust anyone or would feel comfortable truly allowing anyone to come so close to me?…..
I wanna runaway for a few days…..escape and let my mind run loose…..have no true stress or decision making….i wish things were easy, i fucking hate being an adult, i wish i could go back to being 13 when people left me alone and I wasnt noticed.
Where the fuck is the bottle?! I need to distract myself for a few….
Poor woman…..81yrs old and all alone in her apartment with serious health issues…..had to make this call this morning cause me & my father found her on the floor and she couldn’t get up…..wish the elderly would get more help than they do now :(
Sad to say that in this day & age it is an accomplishment that at my age of 25 years old that Im not nor have i ever been pregnant or have i had an abortion.
Why are people such in a rush to have children or to see someone have a child when obviously the time isn’t right for that person?
I feel that i haven’t reached that level of maturity in my mind where im stable enough to take care of myself and a child at the same time. I can’t understand why people want to see me with a baby….when it happens i know it’ll be the right time and with the right person :) .
…….(writing this as im in the gyn getting on birth control lol) btw this is the worst experience I’ve ever been in lol
Playing out arguments about my husband in my head cause it’s the only way to relieve some stress. I wanna curse this man out. I want this jail shit to be over and for life to be really real. I wanna scream out the truth, im fucking tired of all of this…..i need something different to happen rather than to feel like im in a rut in this same old cycle Smh. I want him to find out the truth so i can see how to handle the next step.
I swear to god im gonna scream at him if he dares act up or act ungrateful, I’ve just about had it Smfh im almost at my limit.
8 months left…..
Funny how you can bump into a familiar face and easily connect cause of the mutual person you know and be happy that things turned out the way they are :) guess it was never meant to be…..even to stay as friends…..
Its true what she said “you win some you lose some” and that’s the story of life. You choose to keep certain people around for their benefits to you…..but when its no longer a benefit its better to keep them as a memory and not a burden :)
Too close
Maybe im scared to get caught in my own lies but its getting too close to home……i like a certain image of myself being seen. I like people thinking of me in a good way whether i care or not….that way they only have one image and not a house of mirrors…..i don’t like people knowing much of me…..knowing too much of me leaves me open and vulnerable to being hurt and its what has happened to me too long and im sick of people taking advantage…..id rather people push me away than to figure me out and hurt me…….fuck i don’t like people taking or being in my business i rather be a ghost…..
13 days left till my 25th birthday!!!!
I can’t stop thinking about him….he makes me smile, my heart beats faster & those sweet passionate kisses that say more than words can ever explain.
I wish i would’ve made a move sooner or bumped into him earlier or things turn out differently but right now he’s the reason i smile, the reason i look forward to my weekends, days off & those phone calls and text messages.
Its so wrong but feels so right at the same time….how is it that we are a perfect match and landed with the wrong people?!
life isn’t fair and i can’t stand the fact that i still have feelings for the Mr. And that’s what prevents me from taking any action with my guy. I wish i could make him all mines and show him the complete and perfect woman that i could be to him…..let the Mr make one fucked up move and Im snatching this guy for myself and no one will stand in my way of what i want….
